Fifty Shades of Grey [Movie Review]

Fifty shades

I did not expect to watch Fifty Shades of Grey right after its release, and I definitely did not think that I will talk to you about it. But here I am, life is full of surprises.

Before starting my review, I wanted to apologize for these long weeks without any post on A French Beauty Blog. But I am sure you know the drill: it was Christmas time, I was über-busy, and then the weeks become month, and so on. I wanted to come back but I was lacking time, I will try to organise myself a little bit more… (Thanks a lot to Gabrielle who motivated me to write this first post, by the way.)

Now… the review.

I guess I have to make it clear right away that I love romance and I am usually a big fan of books that mix romance and eroticism. Moreover, I am usually a person that follows trends. But when something becomes too popular, I am pretty annoyed by it, so I just skip. That’s why I didn’t start watching Breaking Bad / The Walking Dead / Games of Thrones (Gosh, even my parents are watching these TV shows!). And that’s why I did not read the books from EL James.

That being said, after watching the trailer of Fifty Shades of Grey, I wanted to watch it. Because it seemed pretty sensual but not too crude, and because I liked the aesthetic of the pictures and of the sounds. Frankly, I was about to wait for its release in DVD, but a friend of mine asks me to go to the theater, yesterday, and I agreed.

Let’s be clear: I am disappointed by this movie. This is way too silly, and definitely not sensual nor romantic (but I was expecting this last point).

I don’t think it’s because of the actors, Dakota Johnson plays a realistic naïve and virgin girl, Jamie Dorman is pretty sexy without his beard (I loved him in Once Upon A Time). Sure, they don’t have a great alchemy together, but that’s OK.

I don’t think it’s because of the director, I really loved the aesthetic of the movie (beautifully made in my opinion), and its soundtrack.

So why did I not like Fifty Shades of Grey? Because the story is just shitty (and I think it was the same in the books).

I wouldn’t mind watching a movie about how a naïve girl becomes sexually submissive, it could be quite interesting to see how it can happen, if it’s easy to just let go, how you can find pleasure in it…

But, in here, I just have the feeling that EL James, the author of the books Fifty Shades of Grey, just wanted to talk crudely about sex and had cold feet to do it properly. So she developed a story to explain why Mr Grey is a fucked-up guy with dominant tendencies. Way too puritan for me. Why can’t he just be a normal guy that loves BDSM? I am not an expert, but I believe most of the people into it just like it for what it is (having some control or not having some), without being fucked-up from the inside.

Additionally, I was expecting to feel a little bit excited, because Fifty Shades of Grey was supposed to be sensual. But I did not feel it like that at all. It’s not sensual, it’s not even crude like a porn, the sex scenes are just scenes where people are naked. It’s almost medical, like watching a documentary about the sex life of animals: you see beautiful people naked and you’re neither turned on nor disgusted.

It was funny sometimes (I loved the business meeting part – they were dressed up in this one). And this movie was funnily silly the rest of the time, I was even rolling my eyes for the silly sentences the characters were saying, and because Ana is definitely a naïve girl…

Frankly, I was so disappointed after watching Fifty Shades of Grey that I asked my friends to quickly tell me the content of the second and third books. Because I don’t even think I will bother to watch the rest of this trilogy, what a waste of time!

I want to finish this review with a positive note on Dakota Johnson. I think she was pretty brave to be filmed naked, especially in the blindfolded scenes. This isn’t easy to do in a real relationship, so I do believe this is definitely a challenge when you are with coworkers from Fifty Shades of Grey! I guess it wasn’t very easy for her (even though she bailed on the belt scene, which is not very professional in my opinion, especially since it’s a very important scene from the movie).

My review for this movie: 2 Stars (2 / 5)

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